Compliments are effectful. They can be difficult to give and difficult to receive but most often they are wonderful. They are so effectful that they can totally make a person’s day and who wouldn’t want to be the reason that someone else is having an awesome day?
Winners most certainly do! Did you know that giving a genuine compliment actually improves your health and makes you feel happier? Studies show that when we do something kind, like giving a nice compliment, our brain releases oxytocin which is a chemical in the brain that makes us feel good. The same happens when we hug someone. So compliments are not only nice for the receiver but are actually really awesome for you too. It nourishes your self-esteem and gives you self-confidence
Why not make it a goal to spread joy with compliments? Here are a few tips on how to give a genuine compliment.
Keep it real
For a nice compliment to work it has to be genuine. So find something you genuinely like about the person and comment on that. Go deeper than their looks if you can. It is “easy” to compliment someone on their eyes, but if you know the person it is awesome to compliment something about their personality. What do you admire about the person?
Don’t do this: Never compliment something that you don’t like. You’ll come off as insincere which is easy to see through and eventually your compliments will mean nothing.
Focus on achievements
Does your grandmother’s garden always look fantastic and you know she takes great pride in fixing it? Or is your friend really good at her job and loves it? Compliment them! Find something that means a lot to the person you’re complimenting. This will boost them incredibly. Focus on achievements instead of physical traits. You can also compliment a personal quality that you admire, because this is something that people work on continuously.
It’s in the details
Find something awesome about a person that isn’t obvious. This shows that you really pay attention and it makes people feel special. It’s a winner’s recipe!
Don’t do this: Don’t give everyone the same compliment. Find something unique for every person as this will show you’ve really thought about it.
The delivery is everything
Just like jokes, the delivery of a compliment is everything. The truth is, there is no perfect way to give someone a compliment but you want to make sure that you seem serious. That it is not just something you’re saying, but that you actually mean it. So, think about your delivery and say it with a winner’s smile. And make eye contact!
These few tips are a great way to start thinking about how to compliment someone. But we’re not done yet. To really get you going we’ve gathered a list of compliments that are easy to start using and personalize :-) Here we go!
You’re so smart and good at what you do!
You have the best laugh
You light up the room with your awesome personality
You bring out the best in people
You’re such a good listener and I understand why people love being around you
You help me feel more joy in life
You’re so good at encouraging me
You can always be counted on
You should be thanked more often. So thank you!!
Research shows that kindness is contagious. So get the compliment chain going and watch as more people walk around with a smile on their face.